Category Archive for ‘Funny’ at eastowners

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Car - Found

Published

dead headphonist

on October 22, 2008

in Funny, Local and Vehicles

. 4 Comments

I got my car back last night. Certainly in worse shape than I last
saw it and with damage I couldn’t have anticipated, but we’ll get to
that in a moment.

The story goes like this : yesterday, we got a voicemail from a dude
calling who reported (to us) that there was a silver Nissan parked in
their drive and that they had dug through it looking for a phone
number because it had been sitting there for a couple of weeks. They
found ours on an oil change receipt.

We called the guy back and let him know that we had filed a stolen
vehicle report on it and that we had to get the GRPD out before we
could anything about the car. We called the GRPD with the location.
They told us we needed to go there and confirm that it is our car. We
drove over there (two blocks away from our house) and called the GRPD.
They arrived, took this story, and dusted for prints.

Exciting, I know. Some of you (who might have seen me this morning), are probably wondering why then am I still riding my bicycle to work. Now we’re getting to the good part.

A flashlight inspection revealed the following “interesting” scenario:
doors unlocked, no broken glass (I religiously lock my doors). The
ignition wasn’t punched. The column wasn’t broken. The car stereo
FACEPLATE was stolen (irony, I know, but it was a $75 stereo).
Couldn’t see anything else that was stolen other than I think they
took some change I had between the seats. Weird stuff, but it gets
weirder.

The roof was caved in from what appears to be multiple people JUMPING
on it (good shoeprints… I don’t wash the car). The hood is in the
same condition. Yes, people, someone stole my car so they could ditch
it in a random student housing parking lot two blocks away and JUMP ON
IT.

I wish I could make this shit up…

I drove the car home and parked it. It started, car was in the off
position, doesn’t appear to have been hotwired, but I can’t be sure.
It wasn’t out of gas, but was as close as I had left it; floating near
E. In the dark, I can’t do an electrical inspection to try to figure
out how they got it started so I don’t trust going anywhere in it
until I determine that the wiring is still safe.

Un-fucking-real… that’s all I have to say.

Anyone want to buy a 97 Nissan Altima with a caved in roof and a hood
that looks like crumpled up paper? Needs a little work, but it
runs….

Quips from Clare

Published

charmaspice

on September 18, 2008

in Funny

. 1 Comment

Current Mood: Red Face emoticon Red Face

An insight into the mind of a 6 year old.

Most of you that know our daughter Clare, know that she’s a pretty funny and intuitive girl. She’s not afraid to ask questions, and she’s always asking us about things that I’d never expect. The other night after dinner she started up a conversation about our bodies. I think part of it is because we bought a human body learning toy with part of her birthday money this weekend. It has parts that come out of it - like the lungs, heart, stomach, liver, ect. Here’s a link…it even comes with questions - some hard, some Clare could answer, and a real stethoscope!

So, the conversation started out with a question like: “Where happens to our food after you eat it”, and “Why does it take a while for you to pee after drinking?” We talked about digestion, and how things get filtered through our bodies…the good nutrients stay with us, and the bad get passed on either through peeing or pooping. Ugh…am I really blogging about this? Anyway, Clare procedes to tell us about a little science experiment she did of sorts. Apparently she learned that if you sit on the toilet, and drink a cup of water while sitting there, it doesn’t come out right away. Yes, she really did sit on the toilet and drank water!

Conversations with Clare - Substitutes

Published

charmaspice

on April 23, 2008

in Funny and Kid-friendly

. 1 Comment

Current Mood: Martini Mood

Sitting at the dinner table tonight Clare was talking about one of her closest friend’s that’s a girl at school - J. These two play together every day (or most every day), and when asked during Happy Sticks (the teacher draws sticks each day with the student’s # on it and they tell something that made their day Happy) they always say that the best part of their day was playing with one another on the playground. This girl also happened to be Clare’s first big sleep over away from our neighborhood earlier this fall - which turned out to be not that big of a deal at all. Back to dinner tonight, Clare was saying J wasn’t going to be at school tomorrow or the next day because she’s going to Disney. Now, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but we asked her if she was sure - and Clare was positive J wasn’t going to be there. She said, well since J isn’t there I’ll play with my substitute friend for the next few days. We were like “What?!!” She said yeah, I have a substitute friend - S. S is another friend, but apparently not as good of a friend and playmate as J is.

Gotta Love the Imagination

Published

charmaspice

on January 24, 2008

in Funny and Kid-friendly

. 0 Comments

Current Mood: Playful emoticon Playful

You’ll probably remember from my previous posts how much Clare LOVES Star Wars. Well this morning she’s been busy playing in the living room happily listening to her mp3 player on her Cool Cat (no we didn’t buy her an mp3 player, it’s an old one of ours that we handed down to her after buying new ones for us). I can’t even find any info on the Cool Cat - so they must not make them any more. It’s this cute little pink cat that has sunglasses that change color and it bobs it head and taps it’s feet to sound and movement and has a speaker in it’s back. You plug your mp3 player in and presto chango it’s a little boom box. All of the music is stuff I listen to as well, so it works out well.

Anyway, she has been busy playing while I’m out in the dining room doing my thing on the laptop. I give her a 15 minute warning, and then she has to go get dressed. You see, it takes her about 45 minutes to get dressed with all the screwing around and side tracking that happens in her little 5 year old brain. I then tell her 5 more minutes. She then asks me if I want to know what she’s playing. I of course say sure. She then tells me that she’s reenacting Star Wars with her dolls. She has all of her Barbies lined up, and is using her Littlest Pets for R2D2 and C3PO the robots. It just makes me laugh. The things our kids come up with!

You Go Girl!

Published

charmaspice

on January 24, 2008

in Funny and Rants

. 0 Comments

Current Mood: Cool emoticon Cool

I hate to toot my own horn, but I just feel good about what I just said to a nasty telemarketer. We put ourselves on the Do Not Call list several years ago, so for the most part the 800 or 866 or 8whatever numbers have stopped calling us. It has been a huge relief to not get many calls, as I was really hating all of the phone ringing that was going on around here - it stressed me out for some reason. So, when an 8whatever number happens to call it usually means I’ve misplaced a bill and forgot to pay it or something of the sort. I fixed the misplaced bill problem last month by buying a 3 tiered sorter that sits at the end of my dining room table, so in stead of a pile of stuff to sort through every few weeks I am forced to sort it now. One slot is for bills, another slot is for things I need to find a home for, and the last slot has been for Clare’s school papers that I need to remember, or do something with. It’s been a huge help, and then on payday Friday I just pull out the bill slot and pay what needs to be paid. So, I KNOW for a fact I’m not behind on anything.

Back to tooting my horn, so there was an 866 call this morning - I reluctantly answer. I hate having to say Hello 3 times before they answer! So, I know something is up. Finally a lady says “Can I please speak to Mr Eastowner”.

I said in a nice voice “Mr. Eastowner is not at home right now, can I take a message.“

She of course replies with “Well then can I please speak with Mrs. Eastowner?“

Me: “This is she” Ugh, I hate it when I have to talk to them. Why can’t they just give up!

Lady: “I am calling on behalf your mortgage company, and because you are a valued costomer we would like to offer you blah blah blah”

Me waiting paitently to get a word in while she reads her little script: “Yes that is my address, but I am not interested at this time in recieving anything so please take me off your call list.”

Lady: “But mam, this is just something for you to look over, and if you want to cancel all you have to do is call back within the 30 days.”

Me: “Yes, I know. However I do not have the time to sift through the paperwork and bills that I currently have to look over, so why would I want to add your papers to that pile. I really don’t have time to look over this; let alone then have to call you back before the 30 days so you can cancel it before charging me for something that I already told you I am not interested in.” I so wish this call was over by now!

Lady in a rather disapointed voice, because I think I am the first person to tick her off today by actually answering my phone: Thank you for your time blah blah blah by the way here’s my number (Like I actually had paper handy for her speady read of her number - HAH).

Gamers Delight

Published

charmaspice

on January 18, 2008

in Funny and Raves

. 0 Comments

Current Mood: Cool emoticon Cool

Last night I had a fantabulous time with my gal pals from my MOMS Club. Every month we try to have a MOMS Night Out, because most of us never get to get out without our kids and have just a night out with the ladies. Some months we go out to a restaurant, sometimes we just get together for drinks and dessert, or whatever other clever ideas we can come up with. Last night we met up at a member’s house for some fun games, food, and some wine. Some of us were big time game players talking smack about how they can win, others of us hadn’t played games in years. I was one that hadn’t played in years. We played some Taboo, Apples to Apples, and Loaded Questions. It’s amazing what you learn after a few drinks, and laughter during a game. I am hoping that we can do this again, as it was a fun night of much needed laughter and girl talk.

SNOW BALL FIGHT!

Published

charmaspice

on December 18, 2007

in Family, Funny and Kid-friendly

. 0 Comments

Current Mood: Cool emoticon Cool

I decided we should have a cyber snow ball fight. It was kinda fun to make…..even funnier to watch. Oh, and yes…Clare is now a twin. Apparently for this one you have to use 5 faces…and I only had 4 (unless I started using fish pics). It’s still fun to watch. If you’d like to make one too; go visit jibjab. They have some pretty funny stuff for you to add your creativity & photos to. Happy Holidays!

What Do You Want for Christmas Mom?

Published

charmaspice

on December 12, 2007

in Family, Funny and Kid-friendly

. 0 Comments

Current Mood: Tired or Sleepy

My darling funny Clare asked me this question today as we decorated the tree. She had her fist ~~snow~~ icy road day today, and when I asked her what we were doing today she told me that we NEEDED to get our tree up. She was right, I have been procrastinating for some reason since the weekend of Thanksgiving. I don’t have my normal house hold chores done…why should I take a day to put up a tree when I could be doing laundry that desperately needs to be done, bathrooms that are in need of a good scrubbing, and floors that need be swept. You’d think that it’d be the opposite…but for some reason I always use house work to keep my self occupied from doing other things. Of course there are other times when I use television or cuddle time on the couch to occupy my time instead of doing the above mentioned…but I always have a good reason (or at least it sounds good to me). Oh well…I guess everyone has their things that keep them from doing those things that NEED to be done.

Anyway, back to the title of this blog. While we were decorating Clare asked me what I was asking Santa for Christmas this year. She reminded me that last year I asked for a vacation. I did, and Brad suprised me with a holiday away from life & motherhood. We spent 5 days up in Traverse City for a romantic birthday get away being “us” again. There are some pictures of us wine tasting, and having a good time somewhere…don’t know if they made it onto the revamped site or not. I enjoy our “us” time away from home (although this summer we suprisingly had a nice time home being “us” while Clare was with the grandparents), and every year I look forward to that time. It takes us some time to get to relaxing and enjoying “our” time alone, but once we do…it’s wonderful.

Once again, back to the topic at hand (my mind seems to be wandering tonight - don’t know why). I replied to Clare that I wanted a maid for Christmas this year. She said, ” A what?” I said, ” Ya know, a maid - someone that comes and cleans the house for me.” She thought for a moment, and then said “Do you want a live maid or a robot?” The kicker is…she said robot in a robotty voice while making robot moves. It made me laugh, and added some fun to our afternoon.

The tree is up, and the stockings are all hung by the chimney with care. And the Santa Hats are out for some fun dress-up. This year I decided to take my decorating stride with ease, and have only put up the tree. It took me about 6 hours to put the tree up (we do fake, so there’s a process to get it up), and get it decorated all with the help of Clare. I also swept the floor after I was done, did some dusting, and tidied up the living room during that process. It needed to be done, and there were fake pine needles and pieces of red garland on the floor from all the decorating. So, I am chillin’ on the couch with a sleeping hubby, with my hot massager on my back (because my lower back is a bit achey) watching Everest: Beyond the Limit. I love watching people climb Everest…the dare devil climbing that they do, it can send butterflies into my stomach just watching them on the edge of the world. We started watching the series last year, and it quickly was added to our tv watching schedule (aka the DVR). If you haven’t watched it and you like Discovery Channel shows…you should catch it.

More from the World of Clare

Published

charmaspice

on October 30, 2007

in Family and Funny

. 2 Comments

Current Mood: Confused emoticon Confused

Okay, so it all started earlier this summer when Clare went to my in-laws for a few days. They took her to Curious Kids in St. Joe for an afternoon of fun. While there she picked out this squishy hedgehog type plastic toy….the best way I can describe it is that it had the long soft spikeys like the pic on the right, but had a face like those in the pic on the left, and kinda looked like a little brown hedgehog. It became her favorite toy for a while, and when it wasn’t played with…it stayed close to her bed at night in her rocking chair so it wasn’t quite forgotten. It was one of those silly toys that you wonder why it’s a favorite, because you know it’s only made of plastic (hopefully it doesn’t fall into the lead category of recalls - sheesh that’d be just my luck). The only reasoning I can see behind it is that she LOVES squishy things - and we have them all - balls, frogs, dolphines, fish, sharks, ect.

Anyway, the reason I’m blogging about this is because Clare is very dramatic (imagine that) and so sensative when it comes to things she LOVES! There was a conversation on Friday about said toy. I picked it up off the ground and noted out loud about how gross it was - it had dog hair on it, human hair on it, particles of things that can be found on a floor when children live & play in the house, and it had started falling apart. I told Clare it was probably about time to throw it in the trash because of it’s state. She immediatly began balling her eyes out, telling me how much she loved this toy, and how it was her favorite toy in the entire world. This went on for about 15 minutes back and forth between her and I. Finally I agreed to let her have 1 more day with the toy…she tried pleading for 2 more days, and I tried to hide my laughter over the begging and pleading she was trying to throw my way in her attempt to keep this disgusting toy. How said is it that I even promised to take a picture of her with said toy in an attempt to get her to stop balling that morning?

The weekend went by, and I forgot about the 1 day with the toy. The picture was never taken, as again I had forgotten about it. We had a full day yesterday with our MOMS Club Costume party in the AM and school in the PM. After school in an attempt to let her unwind I let her watch tv in our bedroom, while I attempted to catch up on my DVRed Oprah. Suddenly I hear cries and mumbling, and pleading coming from upstairs. I tell Clare to come down as I can’t understand her uncontrollable crying & mumbling. She brings down the gross toy - this time it’s flat. She squished it one too many times…and it’s now definitely ready for the trash! We mourn over the flattened toy, me trying not to laugh, and her sobbing her little eyes out. She tries to plead with me again to not throw it away. I explain that it’s time, and it can no longer be played with. We walk to the kitchen, her sobbing & telling me how much she LOVED this toy, she gave it a kiss, and then threw it in the trash. It was like we were burying our favorite gold fish or hamster or some silly small pet that doesn’t last long. We then went back to the couch where she continued to mourn the loss of her squishy ball, red faced and teary eyed. Continually professing her love for the flattened, gross, squishy toy.

For the Love of Boys - ALREADY?!?!

Published

charmaspice

on October 18, 2007

in Funny and Kid-friendly

. 1 Comment

Current Mood: Surprised emoticon Surprised & Alarmed emoticon Alarmed

So, it’s begun…Clare already has a “boyfriend” - well actually according to her she has several. Yesterday though we had a conversation that struck me as being rather funny (and yet kind of disturbing) and I have to share. I just have to say though…if it’s like this in Kindergarten, what will she do in Jr. High or High School?

It went a little something like this….

Me - sitting on the couch trying to have a peaceful morning watching some tv, haveing conversations with Clare upstairs rambling as usual about this and that. I hear this…

Clare - J in my class is allergic to animals with fur & feathers.

Me - Uh huh, nodding head and rolling eyes

Clare - So he can’t come over to our house because of Moonshadow (our beloved pup we’ve had for 2 years now). When she gets old and sick though, and we have to bury her in the back yard because she dies…then he can come over!

Me - WHAT? Can you repeat that please! I then pause the dvr to make sure I heard her correctly.

Clare - Ya know, when Moonshadow gets sick and dies and we bury her in the back yard…then he can come over.

Me - Well, ya know…Moonshadow will be around for a long time because she’s only 2.

Clare - Well, when it happens he can come over.

Great, my kid is already plotting to kill my dog and bury her in the back yard for a boy! What will come next, the actual digging of the hole - which is what the other mom’s at school said laughingly as I told them my story yesterday. If she’s willing to kill her dog for a boy now….what will she do when she’s older! It’s going to be a LONG 12 years until graduation and she leaves home to be on her own in college - I can feel it already….the pain that is.